I mean, I was 11 so I’m not saying it wouldn’t have been awkward as hell but he was cute and that’s all that mattered.Īnd I remember my mother borrowing my laptop one day to do some work when she noticed several searches I had made for guys with other guys. But there he was, with his perfect lips which I wanted to kiss just as badly as any girl I had a crush on back in those days. But shortly after I turned 11, I had my first crush on a boy. Sure, my parents gave me my own laptop a year or so before that and the internet was a thriving thing by then so I couldn’t help myself from enjoying the sight of men and women having “fun” together. It was soon after my parents sat me down for the birds and the bees talk. I was 11 years old when I realized I wasn’t normal. There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t said to myself year after year. Tell me I’m the only one in the world that feels this way. And after today, I can’t explain it.Īll my life, I always wanted to fall in love with a boy before saying those words in other, more physical ways.
